Patrick: What does that button do?
Stacey: That’s the button that makes it look like it’s actually on the page.
Michael: No, it’s the button that I don’t know what it does, but it makes me feel better when I press it.
(Looking at different fonts for the cover)
Alan: What are you looking for?
Patrick: We’re looking for whatever Stacey says we’re looking for.
Stacey: We’re looking for something that looks less like they’re recruiting astronauts.
(Figuring out what article should go first on A1)
Madelyn: Port authority. But I’m biased, because I wrote it.
Emily: I’m biased too, because it was a good article.
Patrick: Emily doesn’t know what ‘biased’ means.
(Talking about how old comics had offensive things.)
Nicole: But it’s not okay to say ‘dickbag’?
Jonathan: What if it involved penis satchels?
Patrick: If ‘dickbag’ was representative of the time, it would be okay.
Nicole: Ye olde penis satchel?
Patrick: Yeah, ‘Ye olde penis satchel’ would be okay.
Patrick: Stacey, make it ‘yinz’
Stacey: I don’t want to type this…
(Complaining about the food again)
Patrick: If you complain, provide Christa with phone numbers of people to call.
Evan: My mother.
Patrick: If your mother provides food, we will provide ads in the paper.
Celia: Where do you want me to sit? Or be?
Patrick: I want you to b…. do you want to restrain Emily? Or Christa?
Patrick: How’s the feature?
Allison: It’s coming. I just need to…
Patrick: Feature? Feature? Feature? Feature?
Allison: I… uh… ahh…
Allison: I can’t form a sentence now. I’m so uncomfortable.
Greg: We have enough room in the archive room for another 12 years now.
Patrick: Christa, add that to the budget. We need a new archive room in 12 years.
Emily: So there’s this guy with two functional penises. Oh, and as a sidenote, he’s Canadian.
Brent: That changes everything.
Patrick: You’re not only our resident expert on penises, but also Canadians.