Sharon: I think you checked in to this coffeeshop.
Zeke: They’re all Italian. Are you going to tell me all black people look the same next?
Ian: They all have Italian names.
Italian
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Tag Archives: San Francisco
Mailman
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Alan: The mailman is in there.
Ian: Better than the female man.
Alan: Um?
Ian: I mean, you’d rather encounter the male man than the female man, right?
Not very happy hour
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Ian: You should have a not very happy hour. You go in and everyone is frowning.
Steak
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Ian: It’s like a salad, except they replaced the salad with a steak.
Plankton babies
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Ian: Plankton babies!
Mark: The new hit cartoon. Plankton baby adventures.
Ian: Yeah, plankton babies. They solve problems that plankton babies solve.
Alan: What?
Ian: It’s the theme song.
Later…
Ian: Yeah, plankton baby adventures!
Ian (singing): When you’re alone, you have no friends, you can be friends with plankton babies.
Ian: Except I’m not sure that plankton has emotions.
Macro-golf
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Ian: I want to play macro-golf. It’s like golf but they use bowling balls. You know the thin people on TV? They don’t win.
Insurance
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Ian: It’s like auto insurance… where you buy insurance from yourself.
All night long
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Alan: What is happening?
Zeke: That’s what she said
Alan: All night long
Zeke: You’d think she’d figure out what’s happening after that
Travel
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(From Delancey Restaurant, right next to Sharon’s apartment complex)
Mark: Should we take the Muni to Sharon’s?
Alan: No, let’s take the BART to SFO and fly to Oakland and take the BART to Embarcadero and Muni here.
Mark: No, take the BART to San Francisco airport and the bus back up.
Ian: You can rent a car and drive into the water.
Bikinis
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Sharon: I buy my swimwear online from Zappos.
Charles: You don’t buy locally-grown bikinis?