Josh: All of my articles were through last night.
Evan: You can leave early!
Emily: Heh, no.
Evan: Well earlier than, say, Madelyn.
Nicole: Aw, that was so mean!
(Talking about how old comics had offensive things.)
Nicole: But it’s not okay to say ‘dickbag’?
Jonathan: What if it involved penis satchels?
Patrick: If ‘dickbag’ was representative of the time, it would be okay.
Nicole: Ye olde penis satchel?
Patrick: Yeah, ‘Ye olde penis satchel’ would be okay.
Nicole: You can read the horoscopes to the bear.
Emily: The bear doesn’t like to be distracted while I’m making love to it.
Nicole: If it’s distracted, you’re not doing it right.
Emily: The bladder is never ending.
Nicole: Stand there too long and you’ll have puddles.
(Discussing a new variant of sudoku)
Evan (mishearing): Why do we need to print rules for sudoku?
Nicole: No, we’re discussing a super sudoku puzzle thing.
Madelyn: Some day, we should publish rules for crossword.
Emily: Nicole, for horoscopes… is it supposed to be “cursing their existence”?
Emily: Right now it’s “curing their existence”.
Nicole: Things haven’t gotten that bad. We don’t have to get Anna killed to make a front page.
Madelyn: Not killed. Maimed.
Anna: He’s an alumni.
Anna: He’s plural. He’s an alumni.
Anna: He is singular now, I’m sorry.
Nicole: Aw, the other parts of him are sad.