Ryan: You’re buying a lot of nickel, dude. It’s like the Sudafed of elements.
Ian: How great would it be if my calculator in high school could generate random numbers? Like you’re in the SAT and there’s four options… do you roll your pencil or something? That kind of sucks.
Greg: Do people just pee 10 times as much as they used to or something? Why do these houses have so many bathrooms?
(Walking past a car, there’s a sound of a crying baby.)
Alan: Baby for you.
Greg: Is that what that is? It sounds like somebody trying to juice a pelican.
Ian: I’m glad Pokemon Go exists. I’ve always wanted to live in a world where people on the street of any age and any occupation will stop and fight you.
Sharon: She’s a carnivore who likes milkshakes.
Ben: Wait. Does that mean she eats meat milkshakes?
Sharon: I don’t understand how cats work.
Ben: Insert food, receive poop.
Alan: Isn’t that how most living things work?
Shawn: I spaced out for a moment and missed something.
Ian: The purpose of your life is to produce poop.
(Talking about how film companies often devolve into bad sequels)
Alan: Inside Out was pretty good though. Or so I hear.
Greg: But that wasn’t a sequel.
Alan: Right. So Pixar can still make good original stuff.
Greg: But the other half is stuff like “Tugboats 4: Return of Eeeeeeeee-youuuuuuuu”
Ryan: We were like, “Oh, we can freeze basil.”
Max: You can. You *can* also freeze cats.
Keith: Keith Keith Keith.
Keith: Keith is kinda like a pokemon. He says his name when he’s thinking.