Poo Groom

Quote

Alan: lol
Alan: i dont know what a bachelor’s party involves anyway
Zeke: I guess I did one for a friend in Arizona
Zeke: We just stayed up all night in the desert though
Zeke: And ate the groom
Alan: um
Alan: wat
Zeke: The bride couldn’t marry him until we pooped him out again
Zeke: That’s legal in Arizona though because it was a man poo
Alan: -_-
Alan: if the bride ate him would it still be a man poo?
Alan: does the gender follow the consumee or the consumer?
Zeke: Well, you are what you eat
Zeke: So I think she becomes male
Zeke: And then she can’t gay marry her man poo groom

Fire

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Alan: should i get flash point?
Ian: You should set real fires.
Alan: hmm
Ian: You should set your hair on fire. And people can fund it online.
Ian: Your hair is on fire: the board game. It comes with a board and pieces. They don’t do anything but you won’t notice that because your hair is on fire.
Ian: It will have a snappy tagline. The tagline is “OH NO MY HAIR”.
Ian: I wrote a detailed backstory for the boardgame. The game takes place in a magical fantasy kingdom. Everyone in the kingdom was happy until one day there was a witch. The witch said “Now Alan’s hair is on fire.”. The king said “Who’s Alan?”. The end.

PHP

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Zeke: you worked pretty well on that level builder yesterday
Zeke: and then on my mom last night
Alan: i see
Alan: hot
Zeke: I can’t decide which code you more hastily banged out last night
Zeke: the PHP or the DNA
Alan: well, given how much your mom has sex, it took an awful long time to get her finished
Alan: so i think the PHP was faster
Zeke: sadly, both of those formats are really good at encouraging stupidity to multiply

Duplicate

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Alan V: we need more duplicate people
Alan V: we have two dans and two tims
Alan V: we need another keith and another greg
TimMierz: Or just change Keith’s name to Greg. That kills two Keiths with one Greg.
Alan V: i like the way you think
TimMierz: I like the way Keith Gregs.
TimMierz: I guess for this we’re considering Alan to be a Ian?
Alan V: well, duh
TimMierz: Just making sure

Blow

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Zeke: blow?
Zeke: watching that now
Alan: i love this video so much
Zeke: haha the random unicorns are great
Zeke: AHHHH RAINBOW BEAMS
Zeke: YES
Alan: the unicorns bleed rainbows when shot
Alan: 😀
Zeke: that’s what I meant
Zeke: this is the best thing I’ve seen leaving someone’s body in a music video since Katy Perry’s whipped cream cannon tits

Kelly

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Alan: such a fan of kelly’s stronger video 🙂
Alan: i assume ive sent this to you before
Zeke: actually I haven’t seen this
Zeke: her bed feels warmer sleeping alone?
Alan: you hadnt heard the song yet?
Zeke: This confirms what I’ve suspected about Kelly for a long time
Zeke: specifically….
Zeke: that she is a reptile

Top pot

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nukeade: Have you ever had a Top Pot?
nukeade: They’re outrageous.
nukeade: They’re not really toroidal like normal doughnuts.
nukeade: They’re more like a square cross section loop.
nukeade: God, just thinking about them makes me want a Top Pot.
Alan V: they should make marijuana versions
Alan V: they can be Top Pot Top Pots
nukeade: Plus, it remains a palindrome.
Alan V: assuming they use the highest-quality marijuana
nukeade: If they also use the top pot on the shelf to make it, then it’s a Top pot top pot top pot.
nukeade: Though, now I’m just being silly… I should probably s top it.

Mocha

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Averto Laboris: OK I am being the totally cliché soap opera gossip, but:
Averto Laboris: Marten and Padma
Averto Laboris: SWOOOOOOON
Alan V: baby time
Alan V: theyll have mocha babies
Alan V: itll be hot
Averto Laboris: unless they’re iced mocha babies
Averto Laboris: I hear that too many of them will make you fat