Michael: Alaska knows how to distribute vaccines to populations pretty well because there was a movie about it
(Talking about the election)
Michael: Apparently all I have to do to flip a state is to have left for five to ten years
Michael: I realized after putting it that a bench press on the ISS probably wouldn’t be a super effective workout.
(Playing Drawful where everyone thought the picture was a genie coming out of a chimney, but is actually “building a nuclear bomb”)
Isaac: We all know that nuclear bombs are commonly built with bricks and mortar.
Michael: Nuclear explosions are also known for being human sized.
Michael: I don’t think I’m ok with you assaulting people with my notepad.
Emily: But you left it in the office. You bequeathed it to me! I declare it!
Patrick: What does that button do?
Stacey: That’s the button that makes it look like it’s actually on the page.
Michael: No, it’s the button that I don’t know what it does, but it makes me feel better when I press it.
(Michael is acting copy manager and editor-in-chief)
Michael: Because people are not here doing their jobs, I am signing off on this for thirds. And finals. It is done.
Michael: How Pradeep is saying lies.
Daniel: Did you just… say… words?
Alan: Is this supposed to be “Housing Guide 2011-2012”? It’s for the 2012-2013 school year.
Michael: How about just “Housing Guide 2012”?
Courtney: Then it doesn’t fill the space and I have to come up with more words.
Michael: “Housing Guide for 2012”?
Nick: How about “Housing Guide five 2012”?