(Playing Settlers)
Ben: Hey wheat baronness. I want a wheat. I’m prepared to pay handsomely for it.
Simiao: What?
Ben: A brick.
(Crickets)
Ben: Oh, never mind. I don’t want your stupid wheat.
Ben: Wheat baroness, I need a wheat.
Simiao: For what?
Ben: Your wish is my command.
Simiao: A rock.
Ben: I can almost do that. I can almost do that.
(Ben is moving to Seattle)
Simiao: How long have you lived in Pittsburgh?
Ben: 6 and a half years.
Simiao: How can you not be sentimental?
Jon: It’s Pittsburgh.
Simiao: Yogurt’s good. It refills your colon.
Ben: My colon’s full of the only thing it needs.
Simiao: Polyps?
Simiao: If you like video games, you should go into endoscopy. It’s like one giant video game. You get to explore unknown areas, shoot things with your lasers, and use your mechanical arms.E
Simiao: I thought he didn’t like Asian food, but it turned out he just didn’t want to die.