Cake

Quote

Alan: We ask each other “made from or intended for?”. Like cat food, made from or intended for cats? Coffee cake, made from or intended for coffee?
Ian: Cat food is food you eat while also eating a cat
Ian: I mean, if you follow the logic of coffee cake
Mars: I try to buy duck food, and they try to sell me dog food made from ducks

Kittens

Quote

(Playing You Don’t Know Jack and one of the possible responses for “I roll, pitch, and yaw” is “kitten”)
Alan: You can also pitch them
Dan: They don’t like it, but you sure can
Keith: But do kittens yaw?
Dan: That’s how they keep landing feet side down

Assistant

Quote

Alan: That’s why they name virtual assistants things you wouldn’t normally say. So you don’t unintentionally say their names in conversation.
Ian: My mind went to a bad place. Like “What’s a name nobody would have? Oh, Hitler! They should name it Hitler.”
Mars: Wouldn’t make it past marketing.

Images

Quote

(Making fun of how Survive the Internet gives you over 70 seconds to select between two photo prompts)
Alan: Quick! You only have 70 seconds left to choose your photo!
Greg: Oh no. I’ll look up the top 50 results for each of these on Google Image search and see which has better comedic potential

Julia Child

Quote

Greg: Julia Child makes asparagus
Alan: Literally? Like she’s pooping them out?
Greg: No! Julia Child *cooks* asparagus
Alan: Okay, because that would be a very different kind of show
Greg: She is not a vegetable garden
Greg: Well, she might be now, because she is dead

Cheerios

Quote

(Mars is talking about taking their dogs to the vet)
Mars: We were afraid they were going to cut off their cheerios
Alan: Wait what?
Mars: Since Tristan loves cheerios, there are cheerios all over the floor…
Alan: Ohhh, literal cheerios
Tim: I thought that was going to be a euphemism