Assistant

Quote

Alan: That’s why they name virtual assistants things you wouldn’t normally say. So you don’t unintentionally say their names in conversation.
Ian: My mind went to a bad place. Like “What’s a name nobody would have? Oh, Hitler! They should name it Hitler.”
Mars: Wouldn’t make it past marketing.

Images

Quote

(Making fun of how Survive the Internet gives you over 70 seconds to select between two photo prompts)
Alan: Quick! You only have 70 seconds left to choose your photo!
Greg: Oh no. I’ll look up the top 50 results for each of these on Google Image search and see which has better comedic potential

Julia Child

Quote

Greg: Julia Child makes asparagus
Alan: Literally? Like she’s pooping them out?
Greg: No! Julia Child *cooks* asparagus
Alan: Okay, because that would be a very different kind of show
Greg: She is not a vegetable garden
Greg: Well, she might be now, because she is dead

Cheerios

Quote

(Mars is talking about taking their dogs to the vet)
Mars: We were afraid they were going to cut off their cheerios
Alan: Wait what?
Mars: Since Tristan loves cheerios, there are cheerios all over the floor…
Alan: Ohhh, literal cheerios
Tim: I thought that was going to be a euphemism

Boaty Boats

Quote

(Talking about how film companies often devolve into bad sequels)
Alan: Inside Out was pretty good though. Or so I hear.
Greg: But that wasn’t a sequel.
Alan: Right. So Pixar can still make good original stuff.
Greg: But the other half is stuff like “Tugboats 4: Return of Eeeeeeeee-youuuuuuuu”