rlambert: I’m not willing to have more children than hands
Eric: That’s the great thing: every one is another two hands
Children
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Category Archives: Quotes
Fire
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Alan: should i get flash point?
Ian: You should set real fires.
Alan: hmm
Ian: You should set your hair on fire. And people can fund it online.
Ian: Your hair is on fire: the board game. It comes with a board and pieces. They don’t do anything but you won’t notice that because your hair is on fire.
Ian: It will have a snappy tagline. The tagline is “OH NO MY HAIR”.
Ian: I wrote a detailed backstory for the boardgame. The game takes place in a magical fantasy kingdom. Everyone in the kingdom was happy until one day there was a witch. The witch said “Now Alan’s hair is on fire.”. The king said “Who’s Alan?”. The end.
Wheat
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(Playing Settlers)
Ben: Hey wheat baronness. I want a wheat. I’m prepared to pay handsomely for it.
Simiao: What?
Ben: A brick.
(Crickets)
Ben: Oh, never mind. I don’t want your stupid wheat.
Ben: Wheat baroness, I need a wheat.
Simiao: For what?
Ben: Your wish is my command.
Simiao: A rock.
Ben: I can almost do that. I can almost do that.
PHP
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Zeke: you worked pretty well on that level builder yesterday
Zeke: and then on my mom last night
Alan: i see
Alan: hot
Zeke: I can’t decide which code you more hastily banged out last night
Zeke: the PHP or the DNA
Alan: well, given how much your mom has sex, it took an awful long time to get her finished
Alan: so i think the PHP was faster
Zeke: sadly, both of those formats are really good at encouraging stupidity to multiply
Creativity
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Daniel: Sorry I’m promoting creativity in Pillbox.
Allison: And not in SciTech?
Daniel: “Case of the lost peptide”?
Bears
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Greg: It’s okay. Bears always land on their feet.
Alan: I… don’t think that’s true?
Greg: It would be true if they were cats!
Notepad
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Michael: I don’t think I’m ok with you assaulting people with my notepad.
Emily: But you left it in the office. You bequeathed it to me! I declare it!
Opinion
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(Emily is upset that Person’s Op is all women after already redoing it once because it was all Asian women.)
Emily: Try again! Third try! I’m going to keep calling you a racist.
Josh: How am I a racist?
Emily: A chauvinist!
Josh: How dare I ask a woman’s opinion.
Emily: How dare you ask a woman’s opinion on things.
(Later)
Emily: Stop being biased against your own gender.
Month
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Sharon: I always look at my wrist when I want to know the month. I don’t even wear a watch.
Justin: Well, it can be tan or pale. It can be wet.
Edit
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Allison: I just want a gin and tonic with every page I edit.