(Talking about moving beds up the tiny staircase.)
Ben: We had to cut her boxspring in half.
Jon: You braced it, right?
Ben: I used a hinge.
Jon: Did you use two hinges?
Ben: I used a hinge. She hasn’t fallen through her bed yet.
Sergio: Who here doesn’t think nipples are important?
Ben: They’re like little eyes.
Sergio: Always looking in opposite directions.
Jon: Like an antelope.
(In a discussion about exotic diseases, leading to diseases from Europa.)
Sergio: It’d be cool to have life in our solar system.
Jon: Even if it’s microbial?
Ben: Now you can get space herpes!
Jon: We’ll call it sperpes.
(Ben is moving to Seattle)
Simiao: How long have you lived in Pittsburgh?
Ben: 6 and a half years.
Simiao: How can you not be sentimental?
Jon: It’s Pittsburgh.
Joy: Will and I are kicking ass in the rear.
Greg: That is usually where those things are found.
Ben: You go, Will. Stick to your guns. Cling to your guns.
Jon: Let them caress you in the night.
(In a discussion about outfitting the Kiltie Band with cowbells)
Dan: Oo, partymart.com/cowbell
Keith: Is that a sponsored link?
Dan: Maybe. Aw, there are no cowbells on this page.
Alan: You should fix that.
Dan: Yeah, I’ll call someone at Mountain View. “This page needs more cowbell. No really.”
Eric: The nice thing about California is they’re required to have free air and water. Well, compressed air. The stuff at atmospheric pressure is free at all gas stations.
Eric: Kilts are manly!
Vicki: Women in miniskirts are manlier than all y’all.
Paul: That’s what I tell them.
(Discussing breakfast options)
Eric: Toast with awesome things on it. Like naked ladies.
Dan: Wouldn’t the toast be on them? Like pasties? Should we just call them toasties?