Greg: I don’t have to work for the next nine days
Austin: I don’t have to work for the next nine days either
Greg: Wait. Where are you going?
Austin: I mean, I don’t *have* to work for the next nine days
Tag Archives: GregH
Turnip
Quote
(Playing Drawful)
Greg: It looks more like Allegheny county than a turnip
Images
Quote
(Making fun of how Survive the Internet gives you over 70 seconds to select between two photo prompts)
Alan: Quick! You only have 70 seconds left to choose your photo!
Greg: Oh no. I’ll look up the top 50 results for each of these on Google Image search and see which has better comedic potential
Lie
Quote
(Playing Survive the Internet, and Keith’s entry is “I’ve never been on a date with Ian”)
Greg: What was your prompt for that one?
Keith: “What’s a lie that everybody tells?”
Ian: Wait…
Julia Child
Quote
Greg: Julia Child makes asparagus
Alan: Literally? Like she’s pooping them out?
Greg: No! Julia Child *cooks* asparagus
Alan: Okay, because that would be a very different kind of show
Greg: She is not a vegetable garden
Greg: Well, she might be now, because she is dead
Babies
Quote
Kayleigh: So it turns out quokkas don’t throw their babies at their enemies
Everyone: What are quokkas?
Kayleigh: An Australian marsupial
Greg: I think the only entity I know who throws their kids at enemies is Donald Trump
Pee
Quote
Greg: Do people just pee 10 times as much as they used to or something? Why do these houses have so many bathrooms?
Pelicans
Quote
(Walking past a car, there’s a sound of a crying baby.)
Alan: Baby for you.
Greg: Is that what that is? It sounds like somebody trying to juice a pelican.
Boaty Boats
Quote
(Talking about how film companies often devolve into bad sequels)
Alan: Inside Out was pretty good though. Or so I hear.
Greg: But that wasn’t a sequel.
Alan: Right. So Pixar can still make good original stuff.
Greg: But the other half is stuff like “Tugboats 4: Return of Eeeeeeeee-youuuuuuuu”
Keithpipes
Quote
Greg: Keeeeeeeeeeee
Alan (joining in): eeeeeeee
Ian (joining in): eeeeeeeee
All: eeeeeeeeth
Greg: We sound like bagpipes.
Ian: Keithpipes!
Ian: Keithpipes are when you take out Keith’s stomach and turn it into a musical instrument.
Keith: No. Don’t do this.