(Talking about trick or treaters)
Alan: We ran out of candy the first year and had to give out individual oreos
Tim: This is why you keep the soy sauce and duck sauce packets from Chinese
Treats?
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Tag Archives: AlanV
Find the Cake
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(Talking about weird things at weddings)
Mark: You have to go find the cake
Alan: What about slices of cake? If you want cake you have to go find a slice
Sharon: It’s like an Easter Egg hunt but with way more possibility of ants afterward
Poop
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Sharon: I don’t understand how cats work.
Ben: Insert food, receive poop.
Alan: Isn’t that how most living things work?
Shawn: I spaced out for a moment and missed something.
Ian: The purpose of your life is to produce poop.
Boaty Boats
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(Talking about how film companies often devolve into bad sequels)
Alan: Inside Out was pretty good though. Or so I hear.
Greg: But that wasn’t a sequel.
Alan: Right. So Pixar can still make good original stuff.
Greg: But the other half is stuff like “Tugboats 4: Return of Eeeeeeeee-youuuuuuuu”
Keithpipes
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Greg: Keeeeeeeeeeee
Alan (joining in): eeeeeeee
Ian (joining in): eeeeeeeee
All: eeeeeeeeth
Greg: We sound like bagpipes.
Ian: Keithpipes!
Ian: Keithpipes are when you take out Keith’s stomach and turn it into a musical instrument.
Keith: No. Don’t do this.
Books
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Ian: I wonder if any of these other books are awesome.
Alan: Isn’t that a dictionary?
Ian: Yeah. This one isn’t as good.
Organizing
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Alan: So who’s organizing dinner?
Mars: We’re playing Scrabble, so you are.
Greg: And I want to go to the gym.
Mars: And we want to go see Frozen. Get to it.
Ian: Yeah. Start filming Frozen!
Poo Groom
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Alan: lol
Alan: i dont know what a bachelor’s party involves anyway
Zeke: I guess I did one for a friend in Arizona
Zeke: We just stayed up all night in the desert though
Zeke: And ate the groom
Alan: um
Alan: wat
Zeke: The bride couldn’t marry him until we pooped him out again
Zeke: That’s legal in Arizona though because it was a man poo
Alan: -_-
Alan: if the bride ate him would it still be a man poo?
Alan: does the gender follow the consumee or the consumer?
Zeke: Well, you are what you eat
Zeke: So I think she becomes male
Zeke: And then she can’t gay marry her man poo groom
3D
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Alan: And there’s the 3D Grilled Cheese Steakburger.
Greg: Of course it’s 3D. What kind of advertisement is that? Unless they steamroll it before they serve it to you…
Womb
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Madelyn: I only get four years of waved tuition.
Michael: “Only”?! I want four years of waved tuition.
Emily: You should have come out of a professor’s womb, Michael.
Alan: Isn’t Madelyn’s dad the professor?
Emily: You should have come out of a womb that married a professor.