Alan: it’s too hot to sleep 🙁
Ian: Take off your clothes and curl up in the fridge.
Ian: Get a hose and soak your mattress.
Ian: Sleep on an electric fan instead of a pillow..
Ian: Get into the washing machine and turn it on. (Make sure it’s not set to warm.)
Ian: Close your eyes and imagine a penguin.
Ian: It’s the middle of summer and a penguin is walking through the desert.
Alan: hm
Ian: The light of the sun causes smoke to come out of the penguin as it burns.
Ian: Oh no, the penguin fell into a pool of lava!
Ian: Suddenly, the air force firebombs the desert! The penguin is turning into vapor!
Ian: Are you feeling better?
Alan: yes
Alan: vapor penguins are very cooling
Ian: The penguin opens its eyes. Could it be, it has somehow survived? No! It’s in Hell! Aaaaa!