Sharon: I think you checked in to this coffeeshop.
Zeke: They’re all Italian. Are you going to tell me all black people look the same next?
Ian: They all have Italian names.
Italian
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Category Archives: Quotes
Hacker
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Keith: This is the hacker’s army, and I’m Colonel Panic!
Ring ring
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Keith: My pants are ringing…
Fire
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Ian: It’s like cereal, except instead of milk you use fire
Pigs
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Ian: Spruce Trees and Pig Nooks of Dirt, Volume Two. It’s like the nooks that pigs dig, but they’re full of dirt now. It’s an exciting nature program.
Bed parasites
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Alan: sleep well
Alan: don’t let the remote-controlled-robotic-bed-parasites eat your brains
Alan: …or, you know, bite
gregh1983: Or, you know, byte.
Born twice
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Greg: Hm. I’ve never been produced before. Do I have a certificate of authenticity?
Tim: Isn’t that what the birth certificate is?
Greg: Well, I do have one of those. In two languages now.
Ian: Whoa. Were you born twice?
Paincorn
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Tim: Still want to hurt me?
Ian: Yeah, I’m going to get this corn. Which is really painful corn. It’s
Ian and Tim: Paincorn!
Tim: Oh man, there should be a painful unicorn that’s a painicorn!
Mailman
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Alan: The mailman is in there.
Ian: Better than the female man.
Alan: Um?
Ian: I mean, you’d rather encounter the male man than the female man, right?
Barbeque
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Tim: Barbeque music or salt and vinegar music?
Apphia: Barbeque music.
Dan: *makes beat noises*
Tim: Dan, the human barbeque beat box.