(Josh hands a board ed to Adam)
Josh: Would you be able to look at this thank you very much bye.
Bye
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Author Archives: Alan V
Signoff
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(Michael is acting copy manager and editor-in-chief)
Michael: Because people are not here doing their jobs, I am signing off on this for thirds. And finals. It is done.
Table table
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Courtney: Greg, come help me.
Greg: It doesn’t require much manual dexterity, does it?
Courtney: Oh no, you don’t have to do anything. Just come look.
(Courtney shows the table of housing locations)
Courtney: So what would you put here? “Table table table title sounds good”
Nick: That sounds good.
Words
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Daniel: What?
Michael: How Pradeep is saying lies.
Daniel: Did you just… say… words?
Guide
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Alan: Is this supposed to be “Housing Guide 2011-2012”? It’s for the 2012-2013 school year.
Courtney: Yeah.
Michael: How about just “Housing Guide 2012”?
Courtney: Then it doesn’t fill the space and I have to come up with more words.
Michael: “Housing Guide for 2012”?
Nick: How about “Housing Guide five 2012”?
Mushroom
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Alan: Why are mushrooms so good? I love mushrooms.
Greg: Well, they probably don’t love you back. Because they are plants.
Alan: Except they’re not actually plants.
Greg: They’re fungi. Even worse.
Tears
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(Emily is complaining about an article in Forum to Josh)
Emily: It made me want to cry.
Celia: It’s okay. He gets it.
Emily: I’m motivating him!
Jonathan: Apparently smelling tears lowers testosterone.
Emily: I’m going to cry and you’ll die!
(The discussion goes to how women supposedly find men more attractive when they’re sweaty.)
Celia: I like my men to work out in secret. And come to me freshly showered.
Sentences
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(Evan is talking about how we should be using shorter sentences.)
Jonathan: Would it be fair to consider our sentences as pickup lines?
Evan: I don’t think there are m-dashes in pickup lines.
Musical
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Allison: Oh no! “Spring Awakening” doesn’t fit. Should I just put “musical” instead?
Liver
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Alan: Huh. “The treatment of choice is liver transplantation.” So if you eat a death cap, you’re going to get a liver transplant.
Allison: That doesn’t sound very fun.