Emily: I’m crude and straightforward in my filth. I’m not Shakespearean.
Filth
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Tag Archives: EmilyD
Draw
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Emily: You want to pick up that paper. It draws you in.
Greg: It makes me want to run away.
Emily: You want to read about his face.
Caps
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(Celia has put Emily in time out for being loud)
Madelyn: Can Emily be out of time out to help me with Tartan?
Celia: As long as there are no exclamation points or all caps in your speech.
Emily: Then I can’t talk!
Pizza
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Patrick: Emily, do you want this piece of pizza you dropped on the floor?
Emily: I would love it. I go by the two hour rule…
Greg: They’ve done studies. It’s actually fine. Unless the floor is covered in e-coli.
Mosquitos
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(The group walks past a puppy on the Cut and everyone “Awww”s)
Greg: I’m more of a cat person.
Emily: I love all animals. I’m not racist.
Greg: Even mosquitos?
Emily: Mosquitos aren’t animals.
Patrick: Mosquitos aren’t animals.
Emily: Greg was wrong about a SECOND thing.
Nice things
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(Evan spills cookie bits all over the table.)
Emily: Way to make a mess in the office, Evan. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Evan: I thought *you* were the reason we couldn’t have nice things
brillobox
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Emily: Greg didn’t know something?
Anna: He thought brillobox was capitalized.
Michael: It’s in the style guide.
Greg: I’ve told you guys it’s provably false that I know everything.
Celia: That was the one thing he didn’t know. NOW he knows everything.
Circle of death
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Greg: We should have a circle of death thing here where you look at a page, then I look at it…
Michael: Do you want to look at A2?
Emily: No! You know I can make this a terrible work environment.
Michael: Here you go, Greg.
Emily: No, no! You’re on my shitlist now, Michael.
Anna: And with that, I’m going to go do my performance reviews.
!
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Michael: Oh my gosh why does this article start with an exclamation point?!
Greg: Start?
Michael: Well, the first sentence ends with an exclamation point.
Greg: Is this Juan? We’ve been trying to tone down his articles all day.
Emily: Juan is cute!
Michael: Yes, but he’s using exclamation points in my newspaper!
Caption
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Emily: Cereal, this caption is so in-depth… you’re gonna love it!
(Celia squeals)