Ian: What happened to the whale?
Dan: Oh, it exploded some more, so I threw it away.
Tim: I don’t know the context behind that, and I don’t think I want to know…
Whale
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Tag Archives: IanL
Plants
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Ian: Is it bad for plants to be planted in dead people?
Steak
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Ian: It’s like a salad, except they replaced the salad with a steak.
Pet tigers
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Tim: Grr. Now he’s a British tiger robot.
Ian: That’s the worst kind of tiger robot.
Tim: Now I’m wondering is it a robot in the shape of a tiger? Someone goes to pet it and it eats you.
Ian: Why would someone pet a tiger?
Tim: Because some people are stupid.
Plankton babies
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Ian: Plankton babies!
Mark: The new hit cartoon. Plankton baby adventures.
Ian: Yeah, plankton babies. They solve problems that plankton babies solve.
Alan: What?
Ian: It’s the theme song.
Later…
Ian: Yeah, plankton baby adventures!
Ian (singing): When you’re alone, you have no friends, you can be friends with plankton babies.
Ian: Except I’m not sure that plankton has emotions.
Macro-golf
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Ian: I want to play macro-golf. It’s like golf but they use bowling balls. You know the thin people on TV? They don’t win.
Boxers
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Ian (playing Inklings): We have 12? Did we just get pants, jeans, and boxers?
Tim: That happens a lot in life.
Party
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Ian: Where do I want to be…
Tim: Apparently not my party.
Ian: Not… not realy.
Tim: Ouch. That hurts, Ian. Do you know how much work I put into this party?
Ian: How much?
Tim: None. But by the time you get here I could have done something. I could have poured a glass of milk, or something.
Tim: Maybe I’ll invite over that bear from Puerto Rico. He seems like a cool guy. As long as I don’t touch him, I’ll be fine.
Insurance
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Ian: It’s like auto insurance… where you buy insurance from yourself.
Ditch
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Ian: When I die I just want to be thrown into some ditch somewhere so I can freak out little kids when they stumble upon me.