Alan: So if Britain is getting a scary amount of radiation, does that mean that America is like a nuclear wasteland? And Japan is just gone?
Michael: It’s okay. California is a spaceship.
Spaceship
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Tag Archives: AlanV
Broadbox
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Alan: I mean, we try not to do that in Pillbox, but this isn’t Pillbox.
Michael: It’s broadbox.
Nick: After I finish the style guide for broadsheet, I should write the guide for broadbox.
Cancer
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Alan: Wait… “Even the spoken term ‘Valentine’s Day’ can induce appendicitis?”
Katie: Yeah… it was originally pancreatic cancer, but Michael pointed out that Randy Pausch died from that, so…
Retain
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Owen: I think a lot of the articles are old.
Greg: Yeah, written by people who graduated. Or quoting people who graduated.
Owen: They changed it. Like, “Senior Jake said he would be retaining Webster for next year.”
Alan: Well, he could be a fifth-year senior.
Owen: Or maybe he just wants to graduate and hold on to it.
Retention
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Bonita: Room retention phase, or Retain my room phase?
Katie: Room retention phase is clearer. Otherwise you’re retaining the room phase?
Alan: Wait, you’re retaining the phase?
Katie: Yeah, I love my room phase. I’m going to keep it forever.
$999
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Alex: Apparently, if you spend more than $1000 at once, you have to go through all sorts of special procedures
Alan: So you spent $999?
Alex: Exactly.
Orbit
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*Alan walks around Greg*
Greg: Why am I being orbited?
Alan: I am a moon!
Greg: You might be the sun, according to one in five Americans… according to the board ed art.
Nick: Wait… one of five Americans?
Nikunja: What five Americans do *you* know that orbit the earth?
Bed parasites
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Alan: sleep well
Alan: don’t let the remote-controlled-robotic-bed-parasites eat your brains
Alan: …or, you know, bite
gregh1983: Or, you know, byte.
Mailman
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Alan: The mailman is in there.
Ian: Better than the female man.
Alan: Um?
Ian: I mean, you’d rather encounter the male man than the female man, right?
Superstar
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Sophren: why are you going up (to New York)?
Alan: job interview
Alan: they want “superstar” programmers
Alan: im nowhere close
Alan: im like subpar
Sophren: superstar? sounds like you should bust in the office like american idol
Sophren: instantly hired!