Mark: Being on the internet means you have a chance of being a dog.
Ian: So every time you go on the net, you can turn into a dog?
Dog
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Tag Archives: IanL
Invest
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Ian: Can you invest in kids? Like they grow up and are successful and you take their stuff?
Cows
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(Playing 6 nimmt on BSW with random people)
Keith: I wonder if this guy is a professional
Ian: Professional cow avoider!
Keith: Isn’t that called the running of the bulls?
Italian
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Sharon: I think you checked in to this coffeeshop.
Zeke: They’re all Italian. Are you going to tell me all black people look the same next?
Ian: They all have Italian names.
Fire
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Ian: It’s like cereal, except instead of milk you use fire
Pigs
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Ian: Spruce Trees and Pig Nooks of Dirt, Volume Two. It’s like the nooks that pigs dig, but they’re full of dirt now. It’s an exciting nature program.
Born twice
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Greg: Hm. I’ve never been produced before. Do I have a certificate of authenticity?
Tim: Isn’t that what the birth certificate is?
Greg: Well, I do have one of those. In two languages now.
Ian: Whoa. Were you born twice?
Paincorn
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Tim: Still want to hurt me?
Ian: Yeah, I’m going to get this corn. Which is really painful corn. It’s
Ian and Tim: Paincorn!
Tim: Oh man, there should be a painful unicorn that’s a painicorn!
Mailman
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Alan: The mailman is in there.
Ian: Better than the female man.
Alan: Um?
Ian: I mean, you’d rather encounter the male man than the female man, right?
Not very happy hour
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Ian: You should have a not very happy hour. You go in and everyone is frowning.