Patrick: Evan can be my dark apprentice.
Patrick (to Evan): Can you be evil?
Apprentice
Quote
Reply
Tag Archives: PatrickK
High five
Quote
Celia: *high-fives Stacey’s idle hand*
Stacey: What happened?
Patrick: I think she thought you were trying to high-five her.
Stacey: Yeah, we can say that’s what was happening.
Sploosh
Quote
Emily: Patrick is over there.
Christa: Patrick! Come up with some innuendo.
Patrick: Innuendo?
Christa: Come up with a sexy headline. Like, really sexy.
Emily: Titties everywhere. Sploosh!
Christa: Double sploosh.
Emily: Triple sploosh.
Christa: Quadruple… sploosh?
Patrick: Okay. There’s only three of you over there splooshing.
Vagina
Quote
Emily: It’s like someone took a sledgehammer to a vagina and sprinkled some blue mold all over it.
Patrick: That sounds like a good headline. ‘Sledgehammer to a vagina’
Christa: I have the perfect one. ‘My dick is like an airplane’
Headline
Quote
(Christa has a fake headline “I want to ‘Hook up’ please take my virginity right now!!!”)
Patrick: Uh… we want him to stay on staff.
Celia: We’re also not using three exclamation points.
Emily: I love how that’s the problem you have.
Sexploitations
Quote
Patrick: How does copy feel about the word ‘sexploitations’?
Office
Quote
Patrick: I’m having a meeting in Celia’s office.
Michael: Isn’t Celia in Celia’s office?
Celia (from the photo computer): Yes, Celia is in Celia’s office right now.
Ink
Quote
(Talking about the layout of the Pillbox feature and how it’s very lopsided)
Michael: Yeah, but it’s just really …nyah (tilts hands)
Patrick: Yeah, so it turns out ink doesn’t actually make the page heavier
Brownie
Quote
Anna: Do you want a brownie? Qdoba brought us brownies randomly.
Patrick: They’re covered in chicken sweat
Thinner
Quote
(During a discussion about losing weight and needing to be thinner)
Patrick: Me too.
Christa: Yeah, you’re as thin as…
Emily: …as a starving Ethiopian child. And just as dark.