Christa: Ew! That’s disgusting! What’s wrong with you?
Emily: Internet?
Internet
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Tag Archives: ChristaH
Emotion
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Emily (reading a headline): “Blind pilot inspires emotion”
Christa: You inspire emotion. Emotion of disgust. Is that an emotion?
Thinner
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(During a discussion about losing weight and needing to be thinner)
Patrick: Me too.
Christa: Yeah, you’re as thin as…
Emily: …as a starving Ethiopian child. And just as dark.
Babies
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Alan: Babies out of every orifice!
Emily: Babies coming out of my ears and nose.
Christa: Ugh, stop!
Emily: It’s coming out of your nose. A little baby arm coming out of your nose. It’s pulling at your hair but you can’t stop it because it’s in your nose!
Beatings
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Emily: How do you feel about fetuses?
Christa: Do you have a semen bear too? Do you beat your girlfriend before or after dinner?
Emily: During.
Christa: That’s the unexpected answer.
Opinions
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Christa: Opinions are like farts. You just gotta let them out.
Quiet
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(Christa locks Emily in the archive room)
Christa: Can she get out of there?
Michael: I hope not.
Later…
Michael: It’s way too quiet.
Greg: That’s good.
Michael: No, that just makes me scared of what’s going on.
Drivers
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(People are telling Christa what to do with the layout)
Christa: Thank you, backseat drivers.
Emily: We’re all watching you.
Michael: I’m sitting to the side of the monitor. I can’t see anything.
Stacey: You’re like a three-cars-over driver.
Vomit
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Meela: I feel like I’m either going to pass out, throw up, or fall asleep.
Later, talking about falling asleep…
Celia: You do it maybe once a day. I do it whenever I want.
Christa: Passing out? Or vomiting?
Move
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Christa (to Emily): You can’t move now. I hotwired that bitch to blow if you move. If you fart, you’re dead.