Alan: This says, “Will pay to the bearer on demand, 500 cash.” I wonder if I could go to the box office and get $500. Then again, cash is a loosely defined word…
Keith: Yeah, it is. I mean, my computer has more cache than that…

Alan: You should sleep.
Keith: I should throw a party.
Alan: You should throw a party?
Keith: I should throw a party across the room. At you.

Keith: I’m afraid of people calling me, so I always keep my cellphone off.
Alan: What’s the point of having a cellphone then?
Keith: I can turn it on and watch the cingular man dance. And I have a pretty picture of tuna… turnips… tulips.

Alan: We should probably go soon. To our doom.
Keith: Our go is doom! Doom to our go!

Keith: Bug Tim, bug Tims!
Alan: Bug Tims?
Keith: With beetles.
Alan: Beetles?
Keith: It was the only bug I could think of.

Keith: I’m talking about the fall of Rome.
Alan: The autumn of Rome?
Keith: I’m not going to spring for that.