Katie: Can I publish that survey that we talked about and that got stuck in email hell?
Michael: Probably.
Survey
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Category Archives: Quotes
High five
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Celia: *high-fives Stacey’s idle hand*
Stacey: What happened?
Patrick: I think she thought you were trying to high-five her.
Stacey: Yeah, we can say that’s what was happening.
Sploosh
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Emily: Patrick is over there.
Christa: Patrick! Come up with some innuendo.
Patrick: Innuendo?
Christa: Come up with a sexy headline. Like, really sexy.
Emily: Titties everywhere. Sploosh!
Christa: Double sploosh.
Emily: Triple sploosh.
Christa: Quadruple… sploosh?
Patrick: Okay. There’s only three of you over there splooshing.
Vagina
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Emily: It’s like someone took a sledgehammer to a vagina and sprinkled some blue mold all over it.
Patrick: That sounds like a good headline. ‘Sledgehammer to a vagina’
Christa: I have the perfect one. ‘My dick is like an airplane’
Headline
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(Christa has a fake headline “I want to ‘Hook up’ please take my virginity right now!!!”)
Patrick: Uh… we want him to stay on staff.
Celia: We’re also not using three exclamation points.
Emily: I love how that’s the problem you have.
Sexploitations
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Patrick: How does copy feel about the word ‘sexploitations’?
Office
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Patrick: I’m having a meeting in Celia’s office.
Michael: Isn’t Celia in Celia’s office?
Celia (from the photo computer): Yes, Celia is in Celia’s office right now.
Feature
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Anna: …to get the feature in copy editing…
Evan: Feature on copy editing?
Madelyn: We’re gonna be stars!
Damn
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Christa: Are we allowed to say “Damn” in the paper?
Evan: Just add a ‘y’. “Day-mn”
Drugs
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Anna: I need drugs! All of the drugs!
Alan: ‘Salted drugs’?
Anna: I said ‘All of the drugs!’ I don’t know what salt would do…