Michael: Changing Joe Biden’s words is like changing Shakespeare’s.
Evan: We’re not changing them, we’re paraphrasing.
Biden
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Category Archives: Quotes
Fallacies
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(Talking about two controversial articles)
Michael: I’m not sure which article has more logical fallacies. One shows a complete disregard for history. One shows a complete disregard for everything else.
Majors
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Greg: Why does this guy not get a major? “Sophomore art major and sophomore drama student”?
Anna: Drama isn’t a real major.
Caps
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(Celia has put Emily in time out for being loud)
Madelyn: Can Emily be out of time out to help me with Tartan?
Celia: As long as there are no exclamation points or all caps in your speech.
Emily: Then I can’t talk!
Pizza
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Patrick: Emily, do you want this piece of pizza you dropped on the floor?
Emily: I would love it. I go by the two hour rule…
Greg: They’ve done studies. It’s actually fine. Unless the floor is covered in e-coli.
Mosquitos
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(The group walks past a puppy on the Cut and everyone “Awww”s)
Greg: I’m more of a cat person.
Emily: I love all animals. I’m not racist.
Greg: Even mosquitos?
Emily: Mosquitos aren’t animals.
Patrick: Mosquitos aren’t animals.
Emily: Greg was wrong about a SECOND thing.
Fistfight
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Evan: Honestly, I would not mind getting in a fistfight with Emily every once in a while.
Copy manager
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(Michael is a former copy manager and current editor-in-chief)
Katie: The copy manager has to see every page.
Michael: Yes, I know.
Evan: Just so you know, Michael. Since you know nothing about copy editing.
Nice things
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(Evan spills cookie bits all over the table.)
Emily: Way to make a mess in the office, Evan. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Evan: I thought *you* were the reason we couldn’t have nice things
Purging
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(Talking about staff email list purging)
Michael: Alex has had a number of purges. Sort of like Stalin in that way…