(Emily is complaining about an article in Forum to Josh)
Emily: It made me want to cry.
Celia: It’s okay. He gets it.
Emily: I’m motivating him!
Jonathan: Apparently smelling tears lowers testosterone.
Emily: I’m going to cry and you’ll die!
(The discussion goes to how women supposedly find men more attractive when they’re sweaty.)
Celia: I like my men to work out in secret. And come to me freshly showered.
(Evan is talking about how we should be using shorter sentences.)
Jonathan: Would it be fair to consider our sentences as pickup lines?
Evan: I don’t think there are m-dashes in pickup lines.
Allison: Oh no! “Spring Awakening” doesn’t fit. Should I just put “musical” instead?
Alan: Huh. “The treatment of choice is liver transplantation.” So if you eat a death cap, you’re going to get a liver transplant.
Allison: That doesn’t sound very fun.
Nicole: You can read the horoscopes to the bear.
Emily: The bear doesn’t like to be distracted while I’m making love to it.
Nicole: If it’s distracted, you’re not doing it right.
Emily: The bladder is never ending.
Nicole: Stand there too long and you’ll have puddles.
Allison: Hey, what’s Tartan style for “dubstep”?
Greg: Lowercase, one word.
Evan: And “post-dubstep” has a hyphen.
Evan: Yeah, of Montreal. “of” is lowercase.
Greg: Can we disband that group as well?
Evan: I’m going to add “Twitter users” after this.
Madelyn: Tweets. Twitterers.
Allison: Tweeple!
Evan: It’s like Bronies. If I have to use bronies in another article, I’m going to go over there and disband the club myself.
Christa: Has anyone tried jelly on top of cream cheese?
Daniel: My dad does that. He’s a happy guy.
Allison: I really want to meet your parents. Not in a creepy way.