Ian: Can you invest in kids? Like they grow up and are successful and you take their stuff?
Invest
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Reply
Category Archives: Quotes
Duplicate
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Alan V: we need more duplicate people
Alan V: we have two dans and two tims
Alan V: we need another keith and another greg
TimMierz: Or just change Keith’s name to Greg. That kills two Keiths with one Greg.
Alan V: i like the way you think
TimMierz: I like the way Keith Gregs.
TimMierz: I guess for this we’re considering Alan to be a Ian?
Alan V: well, duh
TimMierz: Just making sure
Review
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(Emily is handing out awards, and gives one to Allison)
Emily: …for daring to write a negative review. That’s a good thing. We can do it. Let’s make some enemies.
Bored
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Emily: I’m bored I’m bored I’m bored by your bra. I’m BORED. More sexual excitement.
Events
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Emily: Reading a not-Tartan, I see. Slut.
Allison: I’m looking up events *for* the Tartan.
Spell
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Daniel: I was looking at your screen and was like, “Allison, every single word is spelled wrong.”
Veal
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Alan: Babies are beef.
Josh: Wouldn’t they be veal?
Madelyn: I don’t think our babies are fat enough to be veal. We need 50s babies where we fed them Karo syrup for 6 months.
Daniel: Kerosene?!
Word
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Evan: One time Word told me “women” was misspelled.
Allison: Sexist f***s.
Shots
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Emily: Daniel! Start bartending!
Daniel: Right now? Oh, we got some dayquil. Shots all around.
Massage
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Madelyn: My back hurts so much.
Emily: If Jonathan was here he could give you a massage.
Madelyn: No he couldn’t, because I would hit him.
Emily: You don’t like back massages?
Madelyn: I don’t like back massages.
Emily: And yet your back hurts.
Madelyn: And yet my back hurts. They could be related, or they could be completely unrelated