Patrick (while watching people play PPA TCG): Oohhh! You have enough to use me!
Adra: That sounds so wrong.
Patrick: C’mere and use me, baby!
Use
Quote
Reply
Category Archives: Quotes
Finger
Quote
*Patrick licks finger and jabs it at Amanda*
Amanda: Ewwww! Pat, that’s unsanitary!
Patrick: No, if I stuck my finger up my ass, THAT would be unsanitary.
Amanda: Yes. Spit is fine compared to that.
Vicki: Isn’t that kinda hard, Pat?
Patrick: No! How would I wipe myself after I take a shit if it was hard?
Vicki: That explains a lot…
Patrick: What? I don’t go walking around with a crusty ass, do I?
Yellow 5
Quote
Amanda: What’s the deal with Mountain Dew, anyway? Did I miss the joke or something?
David: Yellow 5, Amanda
Patrick: It shrinks your weiner.
Patrick: …well, not yours, other people’s.
Blow
Quote
Amanda: Wow, you can blow, David?
David: Yeah
Patrick: David’s good at blowing.
Amanda: The BALLOON! Sorry!
Patrick: C’mon, blow harder. I know you can.
Vicki: First hand experience, Pat?
Patrick: No comment.
Later…
Amanda: How does he bl… put air in balloons?
Vicki: You can say “blow,” Amanda.
Flex
Quote
Amanda: How big can you flex YOUR muscles, Pat?
Vickidavid
Quote
Patrick (looking at Guiness Records Book): It’s an anglerfish. The male attaches to the female and then his face grows into her body and then he lives off of her like a parasite. That is, after they have sex.
Vicki: Pleasant.
Patrick: Watch out Vicki, one of these days you two will be having sex and he’ll latch on to you and not let go and you’ll be walking around with this…. thing… hanging off of you. Then you’ll be Vickidavid.
Amanda: What? I missed everything…
Patrick: I was just saying how one of these days David and Vicki will be getting it on and he’ll latch onto her and never let go. And then they’ll be having sex forever.
Amanda: Oh.
Pregnant
Quote
Akshat: I am supposed to be talking to somebody, but he/she is too busy being pregnant.
Pegs
Quote
*Alan takes Jennie’s necklace and pokes it in her nose*
Vicki: Uh… what are you doing?
Alan: It’s pointy!
Jennie: Stop that!
Alan: Pointy things have to go in holes.
Vicki: OMG
Alan: They do! Pointy things always go in holes! Like pegs!
Vicki: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Alan: ….. what….?
Vicki: Think about that for a moment, Alan…
Arrow
Quote
Alan: Jennie’s necklace is like an arrow.
Alan: It points to her boobs.
Patrick: As if anyone would have trouble finding them…
David: Oh, THAT’S where they are.
Sex
Quote
David: Jennie just has this aura that says ‘sex.”
Jennie: Gee, thanks
David: No! I’m serious!
David: It’s like you’re thinking “Hmmm.. alright the natural log of… sex… fifteen point three four is…”
Alan: It’s because she should become a porn star.