Ian (playing Inklings): We have 12? Did we just get pants, jeans, and boxers?
Tim: That happens a lot in life.
Boxers
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Author Archives: Alan V
Fluorinert
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Alan: *makes a mental note to not touch your table or desk with bare hands*
nukeade: Well, not this desk. My computer is here. My one at school.
nukeade: I don’t want a girl to get my data wet.
nukeade: I’d be like, “Bitch, that had better be fluorinert you’re secreting.”
nukeade: That’s right. And if there was a girl who secreted fluorinert, I’d turn her on and submerge a computer in her fluids.
nukeade: Then dump her, because I bet it doesn’t taste very good.
Budding
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Alan: youre trapped, mwahaha
Alan: *puts you in a room with nothing but piles of mashed potatoes*
werftspeed: lol
werftspeed: It’s like auger for Everett.
Alan: what, youre going to bud now?
Alan: and im going to come back and find a room full of everetts?
werftspeed: You betcha, and there’ll finally be more of me to go around.
werftspeed: We’re going to need a lot of rootbeer.
Phoenix
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Tim: Phoenix sounded a lot cooler than “flaming pigeon.”
Razzyfresh
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teisenbe: You should come to razzy.
scorri: No! Besides, I’m meeting my mother for lunch.
teisenbe: You should come to razzy.
scorri: No!
teisenbe: You should bring your mother to razzy.
scorri: No! …yes.
Party
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Ian: Where do I want to be…
Tim: Apparently not my party.
Ian: Not… not realy.
Tim: Ouch. That hurts, Ian. Do you know how much work I put into this party?
Ian: How much?
Tim: None. But by the time you get here I could have done something. I could have poured a glass of milk, or something.
Tim: Maybe I’ll invite over that bear from Puerto Rico. He seems like a cool guy. As long as I don’t touch him, I’ll be fine.
mptions
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Patrick: You know what they say, “When you make assumptions, you make an ass out of ‘u’ and mptions.” Mptions isn’t pleased.
Insurance
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Ian: It’s like auto insurance… where you buy insurance from yourself.
College
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gregh1983: Hm. Spam e-mail title: “Thank you, we are accepting your debt request.”
Alan: “Would you like to help me fall into debt?”
gregh1983: “Please please please take away more money than I have. I’ll even fill out an application for it.”
gregh1983: Actually, that sounds a lot like college.
Umbrella
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Tim: WOULD YOU LIKE A TINY UMBRELLA?