Michael: Two things we often have in our paper: Mad props and blood splatters.
Props
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Author Archives: Alan V
Milk
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Nick: The solution is to use more chocolate milk.
Emily: Will more chocolate milk fix this?
Nick: Yes.
Pizza
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Nick: I keep misspelling ‘pizza’ by typing ‘t’ instead of ‘z’.
Bradley Cooper
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(After using a shirtless Bradley Cooper photo for the Limitless movie review, and sticking printouts of the photo on the ceiling)
Stacey: Anna, you’re not going to be able to have shirtless Bradley Cooper.
Anna: Aw, why?
Michael: The article isn’t about him. Either change the article to be about him, or change the picture.
Anna: That’s not fair.
Michael: He’s already on the ceiling. Get over it.
Waffle
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Katie: Nobody should be without waffle in the cold. Life’s too hard for that.
Fire
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Michael: Oh, that’s not good. It’s on fire.
Alex: Our reaction to fire: “Aw, man. Not again.”
Tiny
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Shweta: My nails are so tiny compared to your sweater, Courtney.
Exposed rods
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Michael (referring to a headline, “Exposed rods cause radiation poisoning”): Not quite true.
Nick: Although exposed rods might get you arrested for indecent exposure.
Strokes
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Alan: In golf it’s better to have fewer strokes, right?
Nick: Also it’s better for your health if you have fewer strokes.
Wasted
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Nick (to Courtney): Do you want to add more typos to your pages so it can get to 7ths or 8ths or 9ths?
Katie: We’re trying to set a new record. Just get really wasted and start writing or something.