Celia: It’ll be in your folder in just like two seconds… … … maybe more…
Two seconds
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Author Archives: Alan V
Quick
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Katie: Why are things moving so quickly today?
Evan: Because I’M here… no.
Celia: Because Emily isn’t here.
Heated
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Katie: I’m cheering for you from my living room which is heated in front of Iron Chef.
Evan: Your living room is heated in front of Iron Chef?
Alaska
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Evan: There’s more than one University of Alaska?
Greg: Well, it’s a big state, so if you live somewhere…
Evan: It’s a HUGE state. I just didn’t know anybody lived there.
Fired
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(Michael is firing Patrick as Assistant EIC because he was just elected Publisher)
Michael: You’re fired.
Patrick: It doesn’t work that way. You have to tell the personnel manager.
Michael: I’m delegating to you to tell Sarah that you’re fired.
Mean
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Isaac: I don’t even have to try anymore. I say something and you guys assume it’s mean to somebody.
Bladder
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Alan: Emily, do you want to find another photo for this?
Emily: Can I take my bladder out first?
Two words
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Alan: Is “a cappella” two words?
Greg: Two words, two p’s, two ‘ls, two words, two things.
Friend
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Katie: This issue is like the awkward friend that you don’t know very well who comes over and stays way too long.
Apprentice
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Patrick: Evan can be my dark apprentice.
Patrick (to Evan): Can you be evil?