(Celia has put Emily in time out for being loud)
Madelyn: Can Emily be out of time out to help me with Tartan?
Celia: As long as there are no exclamation points or all caps in your speech.
Emily: Then I can’t talk!
Caps
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Author Archives: Alan V
Pizza
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Patrick: Emily, do you want this piece of pizza you dropped on the floor?
Emily: I would love it. I go by the two hour rule…
Greg: They’ve done studies. It’s actually fine. Unless the floor is covered in e-coli.
Mosquitos
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(The group walks past a puppy on the Cut and everyone “Awww”s)
Greg: I’m more of a cat person.
Emily: I love all animals. I’m not racist.
Greg: Even mosquitos?
Emily: Mosquitos aren’t animals.
Patrick: Mosquitos aren’t animals.
Emily: Greg was wrong about a SECOND thing.
Fistfight
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Evan: Honestly, I would not mind getting in a fistfight with Emily every once in a while.
Copy manager
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(Michael is a former copy manager and current editor-in-chief)
Katie: The copy manager has to see every page.
Michael: Yes, I know.
Evan: Just so you know, Michael. Since you know nothing about copy editing.
Nice things
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(Evan spills cookie bits all over the table.)
Emily: Way to make a mess in the office, Evan. This is why we can’t have nice things.
Evan: I thought *you* were the reason we couldn’t have nice things
Purging
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(Talking about staff email list purging)
Michael: Alex has had a number of purges. Sort of like Stalin in that way…
Stacey
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(Michael wants to talk to Stacey)
Michael: People who are Stacey…
Hypothetical
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Evan: This conversation is talking about a hypothetical.
Anna: This conversation isn’t actually real… it’s just hypothetical.
Shit
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(Talking about being copy manager for next year)
Katie: You’ve also established better inter-staff connections, which I think is important. The copy manager needs to be someone who can be like, “This page sucks balls.”
Evan: “What is this shit?!”