Emily: I got explosive anger diarrhea from his article.
Diarrhea
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Author Archives: Alan V
Headline
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Christa: You’re going to open the paper tomorrow and be like, “That’s my headline.”
Emily: It’s your baby.
Christa: “I made it.”
Emily: You birthed it.
Filth
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Emily: I’m crude and straightforward in my filth. I’m not Shakespearean.
Draw
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Emily: You want to pick up that paper. It draws you in.
Greg: It makes me want to run away.
Emily: You want to read about his face.
Learning
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Christa: So what have you learned so far?
Josh: I learned that we’re changing the two-author signature style. I learned that, if there’s something wrong, to cover it with a white box.
Qdoba
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Katie: I went to Qdoba last night and they asked me what kind of salsa I want. “We have mild, medium, hot, very hot, extra hot, and corn.”
Colon
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Christa: She sassed you. She sassed you in the ass. She went like this *reaches* and grabbed your colon.
Evan: Emily doesn’t have a colon.
Biden
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Michael: Changing Joe Biden’s words is like changing Shakespeare’s.
Evan: We’re not changing them, we’re paraphrasing.
Fallacies
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(Talking about two controversial articles)
Michael: I’m not sure which article has more logical fallacies. One shows a complete disregard for history. One shows a complete disregard for everything else.
Majors
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Greg: Why does this guy not get a major? “Sophomore art major and sophomore drama student”?
Anna: Drama isn’t a real major.