Emily: Farmer Dan! Have you ever milked a cow?
Dan: No. I saw a cow being born once though. That’s my only farm experience.
Farm
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Author Archives: Alan V
Marcellas Shale
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Katie: For the first month, I was like, “Who is Marcellas Shale and why does he own all this land?” People were protesting drilling, and I was imagining this coal baron going like, “hahahaha!”
Christa and Emily
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Children
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Christa: They’re not children, they’re just far away! What do you want? Do you want me to put beards on them?
Existence
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Emily: Nicole, for horoscopes… is it supposed to be “cursing their existence”?
Nicole: Yeah?
Emily: Right now it’s “curing their existence”.
How Things Work
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Emily: The next “How Things Work” should be on survival. Drinking your own urine and eating flowers and shit.
Daniel: Okay.
Katie: The bus takes too long to arrive. Go into survival mode and drink your own piss.
Puppies
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(Talking about puppies coming today)
Stacey: I think it’s an ad exchange. We have an ad for the humane society.
Katie: Oh my god. Can we forgo Qdoba and just get puppies every week?
Greg: To eat?
Tea
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Greg: What kind of tea do you want?
Alan: I don’t know.
Greg: How about tea with feline spices? So you drink it like a little cat would.
Greg (wandering off): Meow meow meow…
Fight
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(Greg is talking to Allison about how the Pillbox editor and the copy manager used to fight a lot)
Greg: I don’t think you’ll have the same kind of fight that we had in 2006.
Anna: Oh the great copy fight of 2006.
Katie: Yeah, back when I was 15. I couldn’t even drive, Greg!
Talk
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Daniel: I’m actually going to talk this time! She and… What was I going to say? I got so excited about talking.