Emily: Reading a not-Tartan, I see. Slut.
Allison: I’m looking up events *for* the Tartan.
Events
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Author Archives: Alan V
Spell
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Daniel: I was looking at your screen and was like, “Allison, every single word is spelled wrong.”
Veal
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Alan: Babies are beef.
Josh: Wouldn’t they be veal?
Madelyn: I don’t think our babies are fat enough to be veal. We need 50s babies where we fed them Karo syrup for 6 months.
Daniel: Kerosene?!
Word
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Evan: One time Word told me “women” was misspelled.
Allison: Sexist f***s.
Shots
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Emily: Daniel! Start bartending!
Daniel: Right now? Oh, we got some dayquil. Shots all around.
Massage
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Madelyn: My back hurts so much.
Emily: If Jonathan was here he could give you a massage.
Madelyn: No he couldn’t, because I would hit him.
Emily: You don’t like back massages?
Madelyn: I don’t like back massages.
Emily: And yet your back hurts.
Madelyn: And yet my back hurts. They could be related, or they could be completely unrelated
Compliments
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(Evan is returning from playing his cello)
Jennifer: You look nice!
(Evan continues walking and doesn’t respond)
Madelyn: He doesn’t listen to compliments.
Jennifer: You look horrible!
Layout
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Daniel: Hell, yeah.
Evan: Are you excited about layout?
Daniel: I’m excited I can use these images.
Evan: Well, I’m happy for you Daniel. So very happy.
Coffee
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Emily: No one talk until I have coffee.
Breakfast
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Allison: Guess what I had for breakfast?
Emily: What?
Allison: Samoas. I was like, hm… I can have cereal or Girl Scout cookies.