Josh’s happy kicking dance
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Author Archives: Alan V
Baby
Quote
(Discussing birth control and preventing pregnancy)
Jon: Where does immaculate conception fall into this? I’m very concerned about this.
Greg: You personally?
Cats
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Anna: Cats cats cats! Crazy cat lady.
(Allison turns around)
Allison: ?
Allison: Oh, sorry. I thought I was being addressed.
Butter
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(Anna is making waffles)
Emily: It smells like BUTTER!
Anna: I’m SORRY! I try to do something nice for you and all you do is complain.
Slant
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Evan: Slant 12!
Emily: Slant 13!
Madelyn: Ooh, let’s see if Evan catches THAT.
Pitchfork
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Emily: Evan! “Pitchfork.” Italicized or not?
Alan: Is that a magazine?
Emily: Yeah, some hipster shit.
Evan: A regular old pitchfork? What kind of question is that? You’re fired.
Happy
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(Discussing health care and how it’s “socialist”)
Alan: But what about fire and police services? Why are those okay?
Anna: There’s no logic behind it. It’s like, “I’ve been told this is a bad thing, and I don’t want to be like the other countries that are happier.”
Toledo
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Amber: To Leo!
Eric: It sounds like you’re toasting Toledo.
Amber: Toledo!
Dan: I will not toast Toledo.
Amber: Where are all the people?
Instant baby
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Amber: If you come up with baby-in-a-bucket, I’m sure you will sell a lot of that product. Like sea monkees. Just mix the powder, stir…
Tights
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Mars: At least tights aren’t fashionable anymore.