{"id":1132,"date":"2005-08-12T05:30:26","date_gmt":"2005-08-12T09:30:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/?p=1132"},"modified":"2011-11-11T23:55:48","modified_gmt":"2011-11-12T04:55:48","slug":"bathroom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/?p=1132","title":{"rendered":"Bathroom"},"content":{"rendered":"

SoAL Gilder: I really need to change that away message \ud83d\ude1b
\nTYteStuff1126: why?
\nSoAL Gilder: I’m in the bathroom….I could just be peeing…I had a lot to drink today. At least I’m not a cat. Their urine is so concentrated it smells really bad. Can’t you just smell that right now? Or maybe I’m on the toilet…Making poop…it’s all brown and stuff…or is it green? Maybe it’s diarrhea and it’s all liquidy. Whatever it is it smells really bad…At least I’m not a dog. Dogs lick their butts. Wonder what it tastes like? Oh never mind. Hey, it’s your fault for IMing me when there’s that little away message by my name!
\nSoAL Gilder: there we go
\nSoAL Gilder: all done
\nTYteStuff1126: I am in the bathroom, or is it my car?…i could be shitting, peeing, or well…if it’s my car i’d be having sex and something else besides pee would be exiting my penile tube…but lets not go that far, back to pee and shit…yeah both are green both are brown but when they’re black you should go to the doc…red isn’t good either. you should pee quite often because it releases wastes and amonia that is built up and has been filtered through your liver…and people eat live…well, chicken and pork liver…hell, I even eat liver…it tastes good…idk why, maybe that’s why there are parasites and worms crawling out of my ass and all over my shit…but that’s just too far, anyways peeing…everybody pees, everybody poops, everybody sees my poo!..yeah it’s shiney, sometimes it’s really liquidy and blurbles out of my asshole, but hey…it’s gotta have some chunks or it wouldn’t be shit…it would be like a girl, pissing out your asshole, well hey, you’re either puking (another story) or have said i’m perverted right now…leave a message and when i’m done with whatever i’m doing i might IM you back
\nSoAL Gilder: OMG
\nSoAL Gilder: use that as your away message!
\nTYteStuff1126: lol
\nSoAL Gilder: no seriously<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

SoAL Gilder: I really need to change that away message \ud83d\ude1b TYteStuff1126: why? SoAL Gilder: I’m in the bathroom….I could just be peeing…I had a lot to drink today. At least I’m not a cat. Their urine is so concentrated … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"quote","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[5,11,110],"class_list":["post-1132","post","type-post","status-publish","format-quote","hentry","category-quotes","tag-alanv","tag-im","tag-tyb","post_format-post-format-quote"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1132","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1132"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1132\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1133,"href":"https:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1132\/revisions\/1133"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1132"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1132"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/junk.alanv.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1132"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}