Alan: I wonder if I can snort popcorn…
Alan: …. I think I really did.
Alan: Ack, it’s stuck up there.
Vicki: THIS is your gifted student who scored a 35 on the ACT and your National Merit Finalist, everyone.
Alan: Wheee look, the popcorn bounces when I do this!
Patrick: Look! The cops told them to turn their music down and they did!
Patrick: He just stuck his finger out like this and they turned their music down!
Patrick: I want to do that!
Vicki: We’ll come to Mills one day and find Pat sticking his finger out like that and getting strange looks.
*Patrick licks finger and jabs it at Amanda*
Amanda: Ewwww! Pat, that’s unsanitary!
Patrick: No, if I stuck my finger up my ass, THAT would be unsanitary.
Amanda: Yes. Spit is fine compared to that.
Vicki: Isn’t that kinda hard, Pat?
Patrick: No! How would I wipe myself after I take a shit if it was hard?
Vicki: That explains a lot…
Patrick: What? I don’t go walking around with a crusty ass, do I?
Amanda: Wow, you can blow, David?
Patrick: David’s good at blowing.
Amanda: The BALLOON! Sorry!
Patrick: C’mon, blow harder. I know you can.
Vicki: First hand experience, Pat?
Patrick: No comment.
Amanda: How does he bl… put air in balloons?
Vicki: You can say “blow,” Amanda.
Patrick (looking at Guiness Records Book): It’s an anglerfish. The male attaches to the female and then his face grows into her body and then he lives off of her like a parasite. That is, after they have sex.
Patrick: Watch out Vicki, one of these days you two will be having sex and he’ll latch on to you and not let go and you’ll be walking around with this…. thing… hanging off of you. Then you’ll be Vickidavid.
Amanda: What? I missed everything…
Patrick: I was just saying how one of these days David and Vicki will be getting it on and he’ll latch onto her and never let go. And then they’ll be having sex forever.
*Alan takes Jennie’s necklace and pokes it in her nose*
Vicki: Uh… what are you doing?
Alan: It’s pointy!
Jennie: Stop that!
Alan: Pointy things have to go in holes.
Alan: They do! Pointy things always go in holes! Like pegs!
Alan: ….. what….?
Vicki: Think about that for a moment, Alan…
David: Actually, I never touch my dog before school.
Patrick: So when DO you touch it?
Gihan: David touches his dog!
Gihan: It would have been better if it was ‘David touches his monkey.’ That can be taken so many different ways.
Vicki: So, DOES David touch his monkey?
Gihan: I wouldn’t know! I’m his best friend, but that’s a line I don’t cross.
Vicki: As opposed to playing monopoly in towels?