Pet tigers

Quote

Tim: Grr. Now he’s a British tiger robot.
Ian: That’s the worst kind of tiger robot.
Tim: Now I’m wondering is it a robot in the shape of a tiger? Someone goes to pet it and it eats you.
Ian: Why would someone pet a tiger?
Tim: Because some people are stupid.

Party

Quote

Ian: Where do I want to be…
Tim: Apparently not my party.
Ian: Not… not realy.
Tim: Ouch. That hurts, Ian. Do you know how much work I put into this party?
Ian: How much?
Tim: None. But by the time you get here I could have done something. I could have poured a glass of milk, or something.
Tim: Maybe I’ll invite over that bear from Puerto Rico. He seems like a cool guy. As long as I don’t touch him, I’ll be fine.

Babies

Quote

Tim: Did you know all food at India Garden is made from ground babies? Democratic babies too. Just trying to add more controversy. And they fry food in democratic baby blood. If I’m elected… I’d be surprised.

Scrabble

Quote

Tim: Keith put the “ofa” in “sofa.” Aww, you took my spot.
Keith: Were you going to put the “oup” in “soup?”

Later…
Keith: So putting the “ofa” in “sofa” was a good idea?
Tim: Always
Keith: I guess that’s better than putting the “ouch” in “couch.”

Later…
Tim: Your sofa ruins everything, Keith!