Superstar

Quote

Sophren: why are you going up (to New York)?
Alan: job interview
Alan: they want “superstar” programmers
Alan: im nowhere close
Alan: im like subpar
Sophren: superstar? sounds like you should bust in the office like american idol
Sophren: instantly hired!

Nose job

Quote

nukeade: HAHAHAHHA “what a nose job feels like”? I’ve heard about boobjobs, and handjobs, and blowjobs, and footjobs… but a nose job? That sounds nasty.
nukeade: I want to fuck a girl in the nose now.
nukeade: Double penetration!!!

Hungry

Quote

Alan: salad, turkey/veggie burgers, blackberries
Alan: om nom nom nom
Zeke: you always IM me when I’m getting hungry
Alan: go eat
Zeke: since you haven’t IMed in a couple of days
Zeke: I’m almost dead now

Periods

Quote

Averto Laboris: although venus’s day is longer than its year
SoAL Gilder: how long is its year?
Averto Laboris: 224.7 days
Averto Laboris: its day is 243 earth days
Averto Laboris: no wonder women are from venus
Averto Laboris: it’s the only planet whose periods are all messed up

Budding

Quote

Alan: youre trapped, mwahaha
Alan: *puts you in a room with nothing but piles of mashed potatoes*
werftspeed: lol
werftspeed: It’s like auger for Everett.
Alan: what, youre going to bud now?
Alan: and im going to come back and find a room full of everetts?
werftspeed: You betcha, and there’ll finally be more of me to go around.
werftspeed: We’re going to need a lot of rootbeer.

Fluorinert

Quote

Alan: *makes a mental note to not touch your table or desk with bare hands*
nukeade: Well, not this desk. My computer is here. My one at school.
nukeade: I don’t want a girl to get my data wet.
nukeade: I’d be like, “Bitch, that had better be fluorinert you’re secreting.”
nukeade: That’s right. And if there was a girl who secreted fluorinert, I’d turn her on and submerge a computer in her fluids.
nukeade: Then dump her, because I bet it doesn’t taste very good.

College

Quote

gregh1983: Hm. Spam e-mail title: “Thank you, we are accepting your debt request.”
Alan: “Would you like to help me fall into debt?”
gregh1983: “Please please please take away more money than I have. I’ll even fill out an application for it.”
gregh1983: Actually, that sounds a lot like college.