Ian: That’s like when you put two mirrors next to each other and you’re like, “Whoa infinite Ians!”, except instead of infinite Ians, you’re in an aquarium.
Ians
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Tag Archives: IanL
Lie
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(Playing Survive the Internet, and Keith’s entry is “I’ve never been on a date with Ian”)
Greg: What was your prompt for that one?
Keith: “What’s a lie that everybody tells?”
Ian: Wait…
Masks
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(Talking about how Football is still running despite COVID)
Ian: They’re outdoors and technically have a mask on
Colorblind
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(Talking about the new Google icons)
Ian: It’s like they talked to someone in the accessibility department like “What if we made *everyone* colorblind”?
Sea
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(Playing talking points)
Ian: Mice remind us of our primal fear of the sea and the animals in it
Random
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Ian: How great would it be if my calculator in high school could generate random numbers? Like you’re in the SAT and there’s four options… do you roll your pencil or something? That kind of sucks.
Pokemon
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Ian: I’m glad Pokemon Go exists. I’ve always wanted to live in a world where people on the street of any age and any occupation will stop and fight you.
Poop
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Sharon: I don’t understand how cats work.
Ben: Insert food, receive poop.
Alan: Isn’t that how most living things work?
Shawn: I spaced out for a moment and missed something.
Ian: The purpose of your life is to produce poop.
Keithpipes
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Greg: Keeeeeeeeeeee
Alan (joining in): eeeeeeee
Ian (joining in): eeeeeeeee
All: eeeeeeeeth
Greg: We sound like bagpipes.
Ian: Keithpipes!
Ian: Keithpipes are when you take out Keith’s stomach and turn it into a musical instrument.
Keith: No. Don’t do this.
Cucumbers
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Ian: We should make a startup for jumping onto your face. Think of all the things that could clamp on to your head.
Al-Tim: True. Like…
Ian: Koalas.
Al-Tim: Cucumbers.
(Talking about a startup that shoves cucumbers up people’s noses)
Ian: I’d invest my own money in that.
Al-Tim: How much?
Ian: Five bucks.
Al-Tim: Is that five bucks per cucumber?
Ian: Yes
Al-Tim: Or per nose? No, you already agreed to cucumber. So I’m just going to find one very desperate person. We’ll put it on the internet. People will be able to choose which organic, local farm they get the cucumber to shove up that person’s nose.