Ian: I wish this was subtitled but I guess this is live…
Mars: Actually, let me show you this.
Mars: Every week, we have to subtitle ourselves.
Ian: Do you have to subtitle what you’re actually saying?
(Playing Imaginiff where Dan was a beauty product)
Ian: If you went to a store and saw a bottle labeled Dan, what would it be?
Dan: You need it… you want it… le Dan. Available now at Macy’s.
(Playing XYZ… the “America” and “Puppy” cards are out)
Ian: When America is in danger, but in a way that can only be fixed by a puppy… puppy America to the rescue!
Tim: I object!
Ian: You’re an object!
Tim: …I don’t like being objectified.
(Discussing the pancake problem)
Mars: Can we make malicious pancakes when we get home?
Ian: Instead of blueberries you add malace.
Mars: What aisle of the supermarket is the malace in?
Keith: I’m not sure Giant Eagle has that.
Greg: Oh they do.
Alan: Mars, are you getting married yet?
Mars: Puppy first
Al-Tim: What you need is an illegitimate puppy so you have to hide it and hurry up and get married.
Ian: What’s this?
Al-Tim: It’s kind of hush hush. If people knew they had a puppy it could ruin them.
Ian: What if they ask me to be the priest?
Al-Tim: Just remember that no one will listen to you until you say, “So you guys want to get married?”
Greg: Say it exactly like that.
Dan: Have you seen the movie Prancer?
Ian: That’s not the same as Cancer.
Al-Tim: Is that the story of a crab?
Alan: should i get flash point?
Ian: You should set real fires.
Ian: You should set your hair on fire. And people can fund it online.
Ian: Your hair is on fire: the board game. It comes with a board and pieces. They don’t do anything but you won’t notice that because your hair is on fire.
Ian: It will have a snappy tagline. The tagline is “OH NO MY HAIR”.
Ian: I wrote a detailed backstory for the boardgame. The game takes place in a magical fantasy kingdom. Everyone in the kingdom was happy until one day there was a witch. The witch said “Now Alan’s hair is on fire.”. The king said “Who’s Alan?”. The end.
(Charles is collapsing a twisty fabric box)
Charles: This is why buildings are not…
Mark: …not fabric boxes?
Ian: Fabric buildings!