Ian: What if they ask me to be the priest?
Al-Tim: Just remember that no one will listen to you until you say, “So you guys want to get married?”
Greg: Say it exactly like that.
Greg: We’ve never seen West Virginia in the day.
Keith: It’s always night in West Virginia.
Greg: It’s okay. Bears always land on their feet.
Alan: I… don’t think that’s true?
Greg: It would be true if they were cats!
(People are saying that they don’t want Greg to ever leave the Tartan.)
Greg: Well, if I can work at the Tartan and get paid like a full time job…
Madelyn: Next year’s budget: Salary for Greg. We can do without paper.
(Alex is reading a board ed)
Alex: Someone has cream cheese on this. Do I edit around the cream cheese? “Cream cheese question mark?”
Greg: This can probably be taken out.
Evan: STET. Let it stand.
Greg: It’s not great, it’s not ideal… but it’s not like world war three… it’s not like having Hitler as your dad.
Celia: I said once that Nick Harper would be able to tell the difference between one space and two spaces after a period.
Greg: Anyone can do that. That’s easy.
Celia: No, I mean at the end of a paragraph.
(People are gathered around the photo computer picking a photo for the Pillbox cover)
Greg: Is it super fun font time?
Stacey: It’s super fun manboobs time.
Courtney: Greg, come help me.
Greg: It doesn’t require much manual dexterity, does it?
Courtney: Oh no, you don’t have to do anything. Just come look.
(Courtney shows the table of housing locations)
Courtney: So what would you put here? “Table table table title sounds good”
Nick: That sounds good.
Alan: Why are mushrooms so good? I love mushrooms.
Greg: Well, they probably don’t love you back. Because they are plants.
Alan: Except they’re not actually plants.
Greg: They’re fungi. Even worse.