Alan: *makes a mental note to not touch your table or desk with bare hands*
nukeade: Well, not this desk. My computer is here. My one at school.
nukeade: I don’t want a girl to get my data wet.
nukeade: I’d be like, “Bitch, that had better be fluorinert you’re secreting.”
nukeade: That’s right. And if there was a girl who secreted fluorinert, I’d turn her on and submerge a computer in her fluids.
nukeade: Then dump her, because I bet it doesn’t taste very good.