Images

Quote

(Making fun of how Survive the Internet gives you over 70 seconds to select between two photo prompts)
Alan: Quick! You only have 70 seconds left to choose your photo!
Greg: Oh no. I’ll look up the top 50 results for each of these on Google Image search and see which has better comedic potential

Stab

Quote

(Playing a board game)
Isaac: She didn’t have to look me in the eyes as she stabbed me in the back!
Isaac: Actually, I guess you never have to look someone in the eyes as you stab them in the back

Julia Child

Quote

Greg: Julia Child makes asparagus
Alan: Literally? Like she’s pooping them out?
Greg: No! Julia Child *cooks* asparagus
Alan: Okay, because that would be a very different kind of show
Greg: She is not a vegetable garden
Greg: Well, she might be now, because she is dead

Babies

Quote

Kayleigh: So it turns out quokkas don’t throw their babies at their enemies
Everyone: What are quokkas?
Kayleigh: An Australian marsupial
Greg: I think the only entity I know who throws their kids at enemies is Donald Trump